{
  "attachments": [],
  "title": "Being nice at AlterConf",
  "tags": [
    "alterconf",
    "diversity",
    "mindfulness",
    "empathy"
  ],
  "year": "2015",
  "month": "10",
  "day": "18",
  "isDir": false,
  "slug": "being-nice-at-alterconf",
  "type": "entry",
  "date": "2015-10-18T19:00:00.000Z",
  "postName": "2015-10-18-being-nice-at-alterconf",
  "html": "<img class=\"inset wide right\" id=\"thumbnail\" src=\"/uploads/2015/alterconf/alterconf-laptop-sticker.png\" width=\"\" height=\"\">\n\n<p>Yesterday in Detroit, I volunteered at <a href=\"http://www.alterconf.com/conferences/detroit-mi\">AlterConf in\nDetroit</a>. I watched the food\nfor a bit, then I folded some chairs. Nothing to brag about - they barely\nneeded me. That left me largely free to sit in on the rest of the conference.</p>\n<p>It was nice. In fact, the whole afternoon was <em>all about</em> being nice. I don't want\nto trivialize it, but the core themes had a lot to\nsay about empathy and inclusion and kindness - all things I file under \"being\nnice\" in my head.</p>\n<p>When I walked in, I got a name badge. I was asked to write my personal pronouns\non it along with my name - \"he/him\" for me. That's a kindness: I don't\nwant to insult anyone by misgendering. I have enough problem remembering names,\nlet alone navigating gender concerns in a crowd of strangers more diverse than\nI usually encounter.</p>\n<p>Then, in the main room, the speaker's podium stood next to a big screen for\nslides. But, on the other side, there was another big screen with a live\ntranscript and a sign language interpreter on standby. That transcript turned\nout to be another kindness: I don't have hearing issues, but I've always found\nit easier to absorb complicated things from written text. Among other things, I\ncan catch what I missed while taking notes or re-read what I had trouble\ngrasping at first.</p>\n<p>And, of course, there was a <a href=\"http://www.alterconf.com/code-of-conduct\">Code of Conduct</a>. I skimmed through it on my\nphone during the opening address. Not many surprises, mostly just specific ways\nto not be a jerk. It was nice to be reminded of a few more things about which\nto stay mindful. I'm not <em>entirely</em> inept in social situations, but I'm not\ngreat and I like hints.</p>\n<p>I know everything I just wrote was about me. That's a poor way to talk\nabout empathy. But, so many objections I've seen about inclusion &amp;\nconsideration at an event center around gripes about personal inconvenience for\nfolks like me who don't need as many considerations. \"Can't we just do the\nthing? Why do we have to be distracted by all these special needs? Can't they\njust deal with it? Don't bother me with all that.\"</p>\n<p>I know I've been dealt a good hand in life. Call me privileged, though I know\nthat word sets some people off. Hell, it's set me off before. But, it just\nmeans there are lots of things I don't have to deal with. So, I can afford\nto be generous. I can try to be more mindful for awhile, tread carefully, apologize\nwhen needed. I can share some burdens, make some room, hold back, bear with a\nfew minor inconveniences.</p>\n<p>To me, it's just being nice. I like to be nice. I try to be kind. It doesn't\ncost me anything I'd miss. The end result usually brings unexpected benefits\nand I get exposed to interesting people &amp; ideas who would otherwise be squeezed\nout.</p>\n<p>To keep this short, I'll save writing about the ideas presented at AlterConf\nfor other posts. I just wanted to get these general things about the structure\nof the day out of my head first. It seemed like a short afternoon with a nice\nfoundation of little considerations I don't usually see. It made me glad to\nbe a small part of it.</p>\n",
  "body": "<img class=\"inset wide right\" id=\"thumbnail\" src=\"/uploads/2015/alterconf/alterconf-laptop-sticker.png\">\n\nYesterday in Detroit, I volunteered at [AlterConf in\nDetroit][alterconf-detroit]. I watched the food\nfor a bit, then I folded some chairs. Nothing to brag about - they barely\nneeded me. That left me largely free to sit in on the rest of the conference.\n\n[alterconf-detroit]: http://www.alterconf.com/conferences/detroit-mi\n\nIt was nice. In fact, the whole afternoon was *all about* being nice. I don't want\nto trivialize it, but the core themes had a lot to\nsay about empathy and inclusion and kindness - all things I file under \"being\nnice\" in my head.\n\nWhen I walked in, I got a name badge. I was asked to write my personal pronouns\non it along with my name - \"he/him\" for me. That's a kindness: I don't\nwant to insult anyone by misgendering. I have enough problem remembering names,\nlet alone navigating gender concerns in a crowd of strangers more diverse than\nI usually encounter.\n\nThen, in the main room, the speaker's podium stood next to a big screen for\nslides. But, on the other side, there was another big screen with a live\ntranscript and a sign language interpreter on standby. That transcript turned\nout to be another kindness: I don't have hearing issues, but I've always found\nit easier to absorb complicated things from written text. Among other things, I\ncan catch what I missed while taking notes or re-read what I had trouble\ngrasping at first.\n\nAnd, of course, there was a [Code of Conduct][coc]. I skimmed through it on my\nphone during the opening address. Not many surprises, mostly just specific ways\nto not be a jerk. It was nice to be reminded of a few more things about which\nto stay mindful. I'm not *entirely* inept in social situations, but I'm not\ngreat and I like hints.\n\n[coc]: http://www.alterconf.com/code-of-conduct\n\nI know everything I just wrote was about me. That's a poor way to talk\nabout empathy. But, so many objections I've seen about inclusion &\nconsideration at an event center around gripes about personal inconvenience for\nfolks like me who don't need as many considerations. \"Can't we just do the\nthing? Why do we have to be distracted by all these special needs? Can't they\njust deal with it? Don't bother me with all that.\"\n\nI know I've been dealt a good hand in life. Call me privileged, though I know\nthat word sets some people off. Hell, it's set me off before. But, it just\nmeans there are lots of things I don't have to deal with. So, I can afford\nto be generous. I can try to be more mindful for awhile, tread carefully, apologize\nwhen needed. I can share some burdens, make some room, hold back, bear with a\nfew minor inconveniences.\n\nTo me, it's just being nice. I like to be nice. I try to be kind. It doesn't\ncost me anything I'd miss. The end result usually brings unexpected benefits\nand I get exposed to interesting people & ideas who would otherwise be squeezed\nout.\n\nTo keep this short, I'll save writing about the ideas presented at AlterConf\nfor other posts. I just wanted to get these general things about the structure\nof the day out of my head first. It seemed like a short afternoon with a nice\nfoundation of little considerations I don't usually see. It made me glad to\nbe a small part of it.\n",
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  "path": "2015/10/18/being-nice-at-alterconf",
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  "prevPostPath": "2015/09/21/blocked",
  "prevPostTitle": "The day the web shrugged?",
  "nextPostPath": "2015/10/22/blogging-via-travis",
  "nextPostTitle": "Continual Blogployment"
}