{ "attachments": [], "title": "Goodbye, Puck", "tags": [ "pets", "cats", "puck" ], "year": "2015", "month": "04", "day": "15", "isDir": false, "slug": "goodbye-puck", "type": "entry", "date": "2015-04-15T19:00:00.000Z", "postName": "2015-04-15-goodbye-puck", "html": "

\"Yes,

\n

Our cat Puck died last night. He would have been 15 in July. That’s pretty\ngood for a cat, all things considered.

\n\n\n\n\n

He was my buddy, and he would cling to me like a little monkey when I picked\nhim up. He followed me everywhere. He cried when I left the house without him.\nFor much of his life, he would be the first thing I saw when I woke up,\nbecause he slept curled up close to my chest at night. He purred when I opened\nmy eyes and stirred awake.

\n

\"kitty-023\"

\n

I got him and his sister Inanna (also\ndeparted) as kittens just before I met\nthe girl who’d later agree to marry\nme. They were the first pets I'd ever\nowned on my own. He was there for me through a significant chunk of my life,\nhappy and sad and everything in between.

\n

Big changes between the ages of 25\nand 39 - different jobs and lots of moving: living with roommates, living by\nmyself, living with the girl, getting married to the\ngirl, moving cross\ncountry and back. He went pretty far for a cat, having flown with us from\nMichigan to\nCalifornia and back\nagain. But, of course he hated travel, having\nreserved a peculiar howling meow for car rides that was impossible to ignore.

\n

\"Cat

\n

As I’m writing this, a calendar alert popped up. Reminding me to give Puck his\nmeds. I’m going to have to delete all those\nreminders. I’ve watched him get\nolder, walking a little slower and taking breaks on his way through the house.\nHe wasn’t the same kitten I knew who would leap from the floor to the top of a\nbookshelf almost seven feet high. He’d started needing special care, started\nleaving messes around the house.

\n

I’m in a strange place of terrible sadness and yet relief and yet terrible\nguilt over that relief. I’ll miss him, but I won’t miss the constant\nvigilance to catch him before he soiled the couch. I won’t miss keeping on top\nof pills and injections and special food. I won’t miss the sad moans when I\nclosed him up in the attic for the night by himself. (The alternative was\nwaking up in the wee hours to fights with the new cat Catsby. Or, waking up to\nhim making a mess in his favorite spot next to me on the bed.)

\n

The night before last, we took him to the vet and got news that he was\nseriously ill. We were advised to keep an eye on him through the night, so I\nstayed with him on the couch in the attic.

\n

I hauled my CPAP\nmachine up there, figuring we’d fall asleep together like old\ntimes. I didn’t expect it to turn into an overnight vigil - but every time I\ncame close to falling asleep, he’d do something to wake me back up. A meow, a\nmoan, a few times even a paw to my face. There we were, laying together on the\ncouch, or sometimes the carpet, watching the sky outside gradually lighten.

\n

Maybe he was excited to have me there or maybe it was just the new meds, but\nhe wanted my attention. I spent a long time petting him and rubbing his belly.\nHe kneaded my arm and rubbed his head on me. We spent long minutes just\nlooking at each other like we would when I woke up with him on better days.

\n

Yesterday, he spent most of the day at the vet’s. They ran tests, got some new\nmeds into him. It was bad, but it seemed like he was responding to treatment.

\n

\"IMG_20150218_012414\"

\n

We got him home and he spent the rest of the evening curled up in his favorite\nspot on the couch. Cheddars and Catsby, our other two cats, came by and\nvisited him. Catsby, in a departure from his usual too-enthusiastic attempts\nto play, bathed Puck’s face and ears and eventually curled up around him.

\n

Close to midnight, exhaustion caught up with me from the sleepless night\nbefore. Puck seemed okay, or as well as could be expected. I carried him up to\nthe attic and put him on a soft blanket in front of a heater. He moaned, but\nsettled in. I got him to eat a little more, spent some time petting him, told\nhim good night. He cried as I went down the stairs and closed the door behind\nme. I told myself that he’d be okay in the morning. I couldn’t do another\nnight like the one before, I was just too tired.

\n

The girl woke me up early this morning. He hadn’t come down the attic stairs\nto demand his release like usual. Instead, he’d found a quiet corner, laid\ndown comfortably, and passed away. I feel terrible. I don’t think there’s\nanything more we could have done for him, but I wish I’d been with him in the\nend.

\n

\"kitty-020\"

\n

\"puck

\n

And now he’s gone. One last car trip, the first he didn’t howl all the way\nthrough.

\n

All in all, I think (I hope) Puck had a good life.

\n
He played an oversized part\nin my life, pampered and never wanting for much. I know he was a cat, and\nthere were a lot of things he couldn’t understand, but he really seemed to\nknow when you needed him close.
\n\n \n\n

He was my best friend and a big piece of me goes with him.

\n\n", "body": "\"Yes,\n\nOur cat Puck died last night. He would have been 15 in July. That’s pretty\ngood for a cat, all things considered.\n\n\n\nHe was my buddy, and he would cling to me like a little monkey when I picked\nhim up. He followed me everywhere. He cried when I left the house without him.\nFor much of his life, he would be the first thing I saw when I woke up,\nbecause he slept curled up close to my chest at night. He purred when I opened\nmy eyes and stirred awake.\n\n\"kitty-023\"\n\nI got him and his sister Inanna ([also\ndeparted](https://twitter.com/lmorchard/status/29488656198)) as kittens just before I met\nthe girl who’d later [agree to marry\nme](http://decafbad.com/blog/2005/06/17/were-engaged/). They were the first pets I'd ever\nowned on my own. He was there for me through a significant chunk of my life,\nhappy and sad and everything in between. \n\nBig changes between the ages of 25\nand 39 - different jobs and lots of moving: living with roommates, living by\nmyself, living with the girl, [getting married to the\ngirl](http://decafbad.com/blog/2006/06/09/wedding-day-is-today/), moving cross\ncountry and back. He went pretty far for a cat, having flown with us from\n[Michigan to\nCalifornia](http://blog.lmorchard.com/2006/06/24/go-west-young-man/) and [back\nagain](http://decafbad.com/blog/2008/05/14/go-midwest-young-man/). But, of course he hated travel, having\nreserved a peculiar howling meow for car rides that was impossible to ignore.\n\n\"Cat\n\nAs I’m writing this, a calendar alert popped up. Reminding me to give Puck his\nmeds. [I’m going to have to delete all those\nreminders](https://twitter.com/lmorchard/status/588453681114185729). I’ve watched him get\nolder, walking a little slower and taking breaks on his way through the house.\nHe wasn’t the same kitten I knew who would leap from the floor to the top of a\nbookshelf almost seven feet high. He’d started needing special care, started\nleaving messes around the house.\n \nI’m in a strange place of terrible sadness and yet relief and yet terrible\nguilt over that relief. I’ll miss him, but I won’t miss the constant\nvigilance to catch him before he soiled the couch. I won’t miss keeping on top\nof pills and injections and special food. I won’t miss the sad moans when I\nclosed him up in the attic for the night by himself. (The alternative was\nwaking up in the wee hours to fights with the new cat Catsby. Or, waking up to\nhim making a mess in his favorite spot next to me on the bed.)\n\nThe night before last, we took him to the vet and got news that he was\nseriously ill. We were advised to keep an eye on him through the night, so I\nstayed with him on the couch in the attic.\n\nI hauled [my CPAP\nmachine](http://blog.lmorchard.com/2004/12/03/if-you-snore-get-tested-for-sleep-apnea-now/) up there, figuring we’d fall asleep together like old\ntimes. I didn’t expect it to turn into an overnight vigil - but every time I\ncame close to falling asleep, he’d do something to wake me back up. A meow, a\nmoan, a few times even a paw to my face. There we were, laying together on the\ncouch, or sometimes the carpet, watching the sky outside gradually lighten.\n\nMaybe he was excited to have me there or maybe it was just the new meds, but\nhe wanted my attention. I spent a long time petting him and rubbing his belly.\nHe kneaded my arm and rubbed his head on me. We spent long minutes just\nlooking at each other like we would when I woke up with him on better days.\n\nYesterday, he spent most of the day at the vet’s. They ran tests, got some new\nmeds into him. It was bad, but it seemed like he was responding to treatment.\n\n\"IMG_20150218_012414\"\n\nWe got him home and he spent the rest of the evening curled up in his favorite\nspot on the couch. Cheddars and Catsby, our other two cats, came by and\nvisited him. Catsby, in a departure from his usual too-enthusiastic attempts\nto play, bathed Puck’s face and ears and eventually curled up around him.\n\nClose to midnight, exhaustion caught up with me from the sleepless night\nbefore. Puck seemed okay, or as well as could be expected. I carried him up to\nthe attic and put him on a soft blanket in front of a heater. He moaned, but\nsettled in. I got him to eat a little more, spent some time petting him, told\nhim good night. He cried as I went down the stairs and closed the door behind\nme. I told myself that he’d be okay in the morning. I couldn’t do another\nnight like the one before, I was just too tired.\n\nThe girl woke me up early this morning. He hadn’t come down the attic stairs\nto demand his release like usual. Instead, he’d found a quiet corner, laid\ndown comfortably, and passed away. I feel terrible. I don’t think there’s\nanything more we could have done for him, but I wish I’d been with him in the\nend.\n\n\"kitty-020\"\n\n\"puck\n\nAnd now he’s gone. One last car trip, the first he didn’t howl all the way\nthrough.\n\nAll in all, I think (I hope) Puck had a good life. \n\n
He played an oversized part\nin my life, pampered and never wanting for much. I know he was a cat, and\nthere were a lot of things he couldn’t understand, but he really seemed to\nknow when you needed him close.
\n\nHe was my best friend and a big piece of me goes with him.\n\n\n", "parentPath": "./content/posts/archives/2015", "path": "2015/04/15/goodbye-puck", "thumbnail": "/uploads/2015/puck/8453933354_a4c95d72a8_n.jpg", "summary": "Our cat Puck died last night. He would have been 15 in July. That’s pretty\ngood for a cat, all things considered.", "needsBuild": true, "prevPostPath": "2015/02/09/parsec-patrol-resumes", "prevPostTitle": "Parsec Patrol Diaries: Construction Time Again", "nextPostPath": "2015/07/22/the-verge-web-sucks", "nextPostTitle": "The Verge's web sucks" }