--- title: "Kicking the habit, rather than yourself" date: 2005-03-19T12:07:18-05:00 url: https://blog.lmorchard.com/2005/03/19/kicking-the-habit-rather-than-yourself/ author: Les Orchard --- # Kicking the habit, rather than yourself [It's been 1000 days since Dave Winer stopped smoking.][smoke] I think he's dead-on about smoking as a not-so-little expression of self-loathing and self-destruction--I know that it's one of the ways I used it. Feeling my lungs crinkle like paper gave me a deep, perverse sort of satisfaction on certain nights. But, I do miss (and have never replaced) the social aspects, like taking a thinking break and gravitating to some common area where a bunch of other surly colleagues regularly appeared for chat and bitching. I spend too much time habitually desk-chained these days. Still surly, though. Funny thing is, I've already stopped counting the days. I had to use my own blog search to find [a mention of my kicking the habit][habit] to recall when it was that I gave it up. I quit cold turkey, went insane for about 12 weeks with some serious panic attack episodes, but then it stopped being a component of who I am. It never fit all that well to begin with, really. But, having quit cold turkey is something I often use to remember that changing myself, if not easy, is always possible. [habit]:http://www.decafbad.com/blog/2002/06/24/ooobod [smoke]:http://archive.scripting.com/2005/03/10#notThatIveBeenCountingOrAnything

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